Memecenter Classic

This hasn't even been babelfished:

"I would like to send my condolences out to Catherine Altman, Robert Altmans wife, as well as all of his immediate family, close friends, co-workers, and all of his inner circle.

"I feel as if I've just had the wind knocked out of me and my heart aches.

"If not only my heart but the heart of Mr. Altman's wife and family and many fellow actors/artists that admire him for his work and love him for making people laugh whenever and however he could..

"Robert altman made dreams possible for many independent aspiring filmmakers, as well as creating roles for countless actors.

"I am lucky enough to of been able to work with Robert Altman amongst the other greats on a film that I can genuinely say created a turning point in my career.

"I learned so much from Altman and he was the closest thing to my father and grandfather that I really do believe I've had in several years.

"The point is, he made a difference.

"He left us with a legend that all of us have the ability to do.

"So every day when you wake up.

"Look in the mirror and thank god for every second you have and cherish all moments.

"The fighting, the anger, the drama is tedious.

"Please just take each moment day by day and consider yourself lucky to breathe and feel at all and smile. Be thankful.

"Life comes once, doesn't 'keep coming back' and we all take such advantage of what we have.

"When we shouldn't..... '

"Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves' (12st book) -everytime there's a triumph in the world a million souls hafta be trampled on.-altman Its true. But treasure each triumph as they come.

"If I can do anything for those who are in a very hard time right now, as I'm one of them with hearing this news, please take advantage of the fact that I'm just a phone call away.

God Bless, peace and love always.

Thank You,

"BE ADEQUITE"

Lindsay Lohan

Words to live by.

But only if you follow the teachings of the 12st book. I'm a devotee of the 11nd, myself.

Wow, suddendly it all makes sense: She's just plain not-so-bright.

It was a nice gesture though.

And now it has:

“I not only his immediate family whole Catherine Altman, the Robert Altmans wife, the friend who is close transmit my call of condolence in the cooperator and his power central bringing up for discussion surroundings group whole when i want.

"Me I now knock from the screen writing and my heart ache the wife rum which has the position wind i feel.

“It will not be like that and jar my heart but his day, hazard it will be wrong and it admired and people laugh A 00 the flag which it $R-will make hazard Altman heart and the family of the Sea wife whom it loves at any time and the many colleague player or the artist and the possibility he doing but it was.

“Not only the role creation for the player who is countless hazard the many independent earnest desire film maker, the Robert altman one dream which is possible.

“Is born and enough the fortune is good to talk goes out and the possibility in the film which is good the turning point which it creates with the realness which to my career is of working with Robert Altman on gap of different greats [iss].

“I with Altman will be from he in my father and the nearest thing lapse it will learn and it will go out and it will carry with realness and there was a grandfather whom it believes from several years. “The point puts out the effect and.

“He us to all left the legend which is the function which it does in us. When “you happen, it is like this everyday. “During each candle which report you send from the mirror will put on and thank and all moment store away.

“Anger and the play it is tedious to fight.

“Only every moment, every day it is caught and the fortune is good and breath entirely, feel and smile and consider. Thank.

“Life, “it returns and” one which it does not maintain time it comes and us different meaning we who are use all like that.

“Time the thing intelligence where we will be ..... where it will not be '

“it will make and [chac] and it does not fear [anh] your wild oneself of moral stock index (12st books) - everytime that place only the world hundred which is to this improvement soulful hafta [iss] act [palp] above. - altman it truth grudges. Them let to save for emergency all broad way each improvement but.

“Go out and they are their hazard what now quite inside being difficult, it comes to do and be good and in case, go out and the fact far this news and listen to go out one selfish because middle-school them, only transformation is use. It puts on, it blesses peacefully and always it loves.

Thank you,

“be ADEQUITE”

Lindsay Lohan

Yeah, whatever.

Who did she send this missive to from her Blackberry? Wouldn't it have been Sloane, as her publicist, who released the statement? And isn't it Sloane's job, as her publicist, to proofread the thing so that her client doesn't come off looking like a dimwit*?

*although really, if keeping Lohan from looking like a dimwit is this woman's job she's already got a pretty poor track record, so this should be expected.**

**actually, when your publicist defends you with phrases like "everybody has got to get a life" you have to wonder about her credentials...

She is just the best bimbo EVER.

One would think.

Was "12st book" perhaps supposed to mean "12 Step BooK" and not "12th Book" as we all thought?

That's the impression I get after reading the article I linked to, yeah.

Still, that doesn't account for the rest of the rambly, incoherent, grammatically incorrect and otherwise amuzing content in her message.

amusing NOT amuzing.

amusing.

How adequite of you.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/12082006/news/columnists/i_adore_a_gal_without_spellcheck_or_panties_columnists_andrea_peyser.htm

I ADORE A GAL WITHOUT SPELLCHECK OR PANTIES

December 8, 2006 -- DEER Linsay,

It is my oppinion that you are the coollest, smartist and most bootiful . . . I mean you are butiful . . . - crap! - you are the prettyest girl in the hole wide world.

Linsey, I hope you don't mind me comming out and saying how I feel about, after all, you are an inspration to younger generations and generations older than you. Which we all know and can obviously see. People are just mean.

Or maybe the drugs are finally kicking in! About freaking time.

Here is my point Lins, I want to grow up to be just like you and star in Disny movies and play guitar and go to Alcoholics Anymous and forget to eat for many days and weeks and puke and stuff.

Linsy, like all young American girls, except maybe the ones that aren't cute and we don't care about, I want to be you!

I desire to be adequite. I want to party with Britiny and Parris and drop the kids and not even put on underwear.

But, as you wrote - the focus in the world has misplaced and directed in the wrong directions and I am willing to be the one to help change that and use my celebrity status to move the focalpoint/ (s) of the press to the real issues that we have going on as we speak.

Al Gore defnitly should have a conversation with you. I mean, you are so into the envnment and trees and global warming and stuff even thou you are definatly much hotter then Hilary. Al said he is willing to help you find out and help you fix things - and refuse to stop on any account for these unintelligent, vulgar people who like to hurt other people.

Wow! And he was, like, president.

Like you, I cried when Robert Altman died. He left us with a legend that all of us have the ability to do.

So Lins, let's party at Bunngalow. I'll use your name. Forever, your my entertainer!

Hugs and kisses,

Andera

andrea.peyser@nypost.com

Subject: The way of the future-Howard Hughes once said. I am willing to release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite letter to the press if any of you are willing to help. Simply to state my oppinions on how our society should be educated on for the better of our country. Our people. Also because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me. Which we all know and can obviously see. People are just mean. I am going to proceed with putting LR to court if need be for what she's done to me. Its my life. I want to live it. People cannot lie and think that it is okay to continue on having done so. Simply because they will do it again to someone else, and that is not alright with me. I have had many ups and downs, as do we all.

But to make false accusations to one girl is unjust in my oppinion. Having said this, I am willing to do anything I need to get my life the way it should be and the way I work for it to be.. And have thus far in my career. Let's sue the tabloids for saying the things they say. Defamation of character. Amongst other illegal accusations, I will repeat this over and over to make my point. I am not fully aware of what these, again, accusations are, but I am fully and eagerly prepared to learn them. Have harvey and all lawyers help me please. If he is willing. Al Gore will help me he came up to me last night and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me. If he is willing to help me, let's find out. Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, and Evan metroplis, and John Daur who works with them would be willing, if we just ask. If we just ASK. I'd really like to fix things and refuse to stop on any account for these unintelligent, vulgar people who like to hurt other people. Not just me, but everyone. I'm willing to hold a press conference and I will do anything necessary to do so. In putting an end to 'these people' trying to put an end to me and belittle me as well as try to be the demise of me after all I've gone through and done at such a young and tender age in a womans life. Its enough already, I've had enough and I am going to be the one to make a change. For all of my fellow actors, friends, people I admire and for those I've lost in the recent days, years, months. I do believe the focus in the world has misplaced and directed in the wrong directions and I am willing to be the one to help change that and use my celebrity status to move the focalpoint /(s) of the press to the real issues that we have going on as we speak. Anyone that is willing to help and has a family member or friend, even co-worker that is in a position to be involved in any way, shape or form, please contact me, Jenni Muro, Leslie Sloane, Michael Heller, Jason Sloane, Jason Weinberg as soon as you can or are willing. Just ask them, it doesn't hurt to ask. So let's start now, rather than waste time. Do you agree? Because I'm doing it either way. The way of the future. Thank you for your time. Your Entertainer, Lindsay Lohan Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry from T-Mobile.

That Lynn Redgrave is such a BITCH! OhmyGOD!

Thanks for tracking that down. I started to look for it but was uneasy googling Lindsay Lohan at work.

Okay, it's nice that Linds' people are stepping in to proofread her e-mails, but they really need to take away her Blackberry.

Paranoid rant + delusions of grandeur = lose 5 bimbo points.

Just for fun, you should Google this string:

+Britney +Spears +Egotastic

At work. Preferably with your boss/HR director nearby.

Stripper endorsements = +20 Bimbo Points.

No surprises here: Dina's a slag, too. Oh, and skank-ugly apparently.